Last weekend we were in Lowe's in Gun Barrel City looking through the books and books and books of wallpaper borders that they have. This is not a fun thing to do, even if it's for the very exciting purpose of decorating a baby's room. The books are huge and most of the stuff in them is ugly, but we continued to flip through one after the other in hopes of finding that perfect wallpaper border.
I had more patience for this than Charles did, and he soon abandoned me at the wallpaper border book stand and sought help in the form of a 40-something, east-Texan woman with brassy hair, tight jeans, a smoker's cough and old Reeboks. Here is the conversation that took place:
Charles: Are these the only wallpaper borders you have?
Her (now to get the full effect, you need to imagine an east-Texas drawl - and don't forget the smoker's cough): We have these over here that are in stock.
Me (leaves the wallpaper books and joins Charles)
Her: What are you having?
Me: A boy.
Her: Oh, well we have lots of boy wallpaper and this stuff is already in stock.
Me: How long does it take to get here if we order it?
Her: 7-10 days, but we already have this stuff in stock.
Charles: We're doing the baby's nursery and not sure exactly what we're looking for yet.
Her (leading us to the in-stock wallpaper): Oh, we got lots of stuff. If you're having a boy we have all this war stuff over here.
She promptly leads us to a huge selection of war-themed wallpaper borders. As in, tanks busting though buildings, camo backgrounds decorated in AK-47's, fighter jets dropping bombs and battleships. You get the idea.
SERIOUSLY!! Why would someone think I would want to decorate our baby's nursery in violent WAR wallpaper!?!?
To get an idea of what it looked like:
And unrelated to the story above, some other things that I realized today (as I was sitting in traffic trying to get home) that you never see in Texas:
* Tweeker blinkers
* Lowered trucks (well, like the kind they have in CA)
* Lifted trucks (again, like the kind you see in CA)
2 comments:
You crack me up. I can totally picture your conversation. You know why you see those trucks in Texas? Because they left Cali. :D
hm...an alien or monster theme isn't looking so bad now, is it? ;)
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