Christmas With Baby

Well, this was our first Christmas as a family....with baby Jack! It was also the first time that I put on makeup and "real" clothes (ok, not even real clothes - maternity clothes still) in 24 days! Of course it was the best Christmas ever. Having Jack made it so much more special than any other Christmas.

Of course, when I look at the picture I realize that I look...well...tired!

Babies Don't Keep

Well here I am, on my new laptop (it's an hp mini...if you haven't seen one, google it...it's so small it looks like a toy and I am still amazed that it actually works), which I have thanks to my wonderful husband. Jack is in sleeping in his little chair (thank you Polly, you got us this for our baby shower). I can't believe how hard it is to put him down, even when he's sleeping and I know that he'll be fine (well, I constantly have to keep an eye on him as Twinkie stalks him when he's in his chair). Every single day I am even more amazed that this perfect little being came from me and Charles. He is the most amazing little thing ever. I love watching him when he sleeps and his little face goes through a huge range of emotions in his sleeps - he gets mad, he might cry out, he looks worried, he looks surprised and my favorite of all he smiles and almost even laughs.

On the one hand, I can't wait until he is smiling and laughing. On the other hand, it makes me sad to think of him growing up because I know this time will pass so quickly and I want to cherish every moment I have with Baby Jack before he is Toddler Jack, Kid Jack, Teenager Jack, and then Adult Jack. Right now he is MY Jack (well, he's also Charles'!) but I know he will become his own little person soon and I don't want to miss out on a moment! Of course I will also cherish every moment with him as he grows and I know that will be exciting too, but sometimes I feel like I see him going to college already and I know that will be here before I know it so I don't want to miss out on one second.

My mom sent me this poem (and it made me cry) and I made a promise to myself to live by this:

Babies Don’t Keep
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo

But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

A Present for Linda

Twinkie wishes you a very Merry Christmas.

Running on Fumes

Well, we are pretty much running on fumes around here although I am feeling better every day. I have been taking everyone's advice and resting as much as possible (not like there is much else I can do) and it really seems to be helping. I even have had a couple of bursts of energy which resulted in unloading and loading the dishwasher and doing several loads of laundry!

Jack is fabulous. Absolutely 100% perfect and more than I ever imagined he could be. We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning and hopefully he will check out fine and we won't have to keep him on the light anymore. Then I can spend all day holding him! :) I am kind of dreading the appointment tomorrow (the last one took a lot out of me, physically and emotionally). I feel much better equipped for this appointment though than the last one and I am looking forward to hearing good news from the doc, so I'm thinking positive and I know it will be easier than the last one!

The cats are so upset it's almost funny (it would be if they didn't voice their anger by running into the room and jumping on Jack's stuff as soon as I take it out of the dryer, meowing endlessly, staring at Jack with huge eyes and fully dilated pupils, opening every single cabinet they can reach - even Dinah - and then letting them slam, etc.). I do feel a a little guilty as just last week they had full run of the house and could do whatever they wanted to and had free range of my lap for their daily naps. They will adjust and as Jack gets bigger I'm sure I will worry less.

Janga also came home today. Jack's sleeping so she hasn't met him yet but she's been running around the house and smelling everything like she's never been here before. We'll introduce them when Jack wakes up from his nap.

How Funny the Post Below Seems Now...

If only I had known that I was about to endure my last night of that! :)

Of course, Im even more tired now...but I am able to occasionally sleep for a couple of hours at a time AND I don't have to pee as much.

Monday morning, December 1st, I woke up around 4:30 AM (after falling asleep again around, say, 3:45!) to extra back pain and a crampy tummy. And, without going into too much detail here, I was a little more leaky than usual. So I tried and tried to get back to sleep but I had two webinars that I had to do from home that morning, the first at 7:00, that I was afraid I not going to wake up for anyway, so I finally got out of bed around 6:00 and drained the rest of the apple juice.

In between webinars I took a shower and straightened my hair (what IF it turned out I was in labor - I would prefer to have straight hair in the hospital!). I kept thinking I was overreacting but Charles convinced me to call the doctor after I finished the second webinar, around 9:30. The nurse said it probably wasn't anything and sounded like pre-labor, which could go on for days or weeks, but to come in anyway to get checked out. So we made it to the doctor's office around 11:30 that morning. The doctor checked me out and I was a bit more dilated but still not showing any really strong signs of labor, although she did want to test the fluids I was leaking to find out if I might have broken my water. Five minutes after taking the sample she came back and said, "This buys you a ticket upstairs to labor and delivery." My water had broken, or had a slow leak, and it was time to have a baby!!

Charles and I were shcked, excited, nervous - we had really not been expecting this. My due date wasn't until December 22nd! It especially hit us hard when we walked up there and my doctor had already called to check us in and they took us to our room and said, "This is where the baby will be born." It didn't start to feel real until they hooked me up to the IV - and even then, it didn't feel real until the pitocin kicked in and my contractions starting coming hard and fast.

Lucky for me, things progressed very, very quickly. When I was dilated to about 6 I decided on an epidural, thinking I could have hours of this ahead of me - but then, as it turned out, when the nurse came back in 30 minutes later to insert the catheter and see if I had dilated anymore I was ready to push! I couldn't believe it. It was like things just kept happening faster and faster.

The baby was facing upwards and it turned out he had his hand up against his face, so pushing was hard. I pushed for about an hour and forty five minutes and at many times wondered if I would be able to do it. Charles was fabulous, as always, and kept motivating me and really helped keep me strong. At 6:26 PM on Monday, December 1st, Jack Lewis Lindsey made his entrance into this world and our lives will never be the same.